The irony of growing up

Growing up – It’s probably the most ironic word in the English language. I know as an opening line to my column I could not have chosen a more controversial a statement, but to the ones who have cried out foul I implore you to give me a chance to defend myself. Growing up is a stage- a stage that as an individual we are confined to for a large part of our life. A stage that as children we are keen to embrace and jump at the sound of our name being used in reference to it, but as adults we live it on a daily basis......but perhaps the funniest part is that we don’t realise it. We wonder when we will get the opportunity to arrive as people say “on the crossroads of life”. Whereas in reality we are already there, it takes us more than a couple of heartbeats to realise it and when the realisation does sink in, it fills you with a paradoxical feeling- on one side it is a though a light has been turned on in a dark room whereas on the other...... the other is where you feel like it’s a 1000 mega watt floodlight trained on you, refusing to budge and blinds you in that dark room. Oh and yes, somebody has locked the room door and thrown away the key!!!!! So why do we relish the possibility of growing up and then cringe from the reality of it? It’s because of the truth....the truth of what life actually is. The truth that growing up does not merely entail having your own credit card, purchasing your heart’s desire of shoes and video games or driving around in your shiny blue convertible. It’s about so much more than that. It’s about paying rent, saving up for the day when you might lose your job, getting along with people whose hair you feel like ripping out. But most of all, what consumes our heart and threatens to submerge us in a wave of grief is the feeling that in reality, we are all alone in this world. I don’t mean to indicate a lack of friends or family, but that each and every one of us is an INDIVIDUAL in our own right. Our joys and sorrows will be shared by the ones dearest to us but the brunt of the emotion has to be borne by each heart individually. The struggle to stand on our own feet, to leave our family and friends is a thought we both relish and fear. So what do you do as an individual when these thoughts fill your head? When it feels as though you can bear it no longer and want to fold from within and rush into your own space of inner darkness where the light cannot touch you? I believe that there is no one defined reaction to a particular situation. All of us go through the same problems in different forms and our reactions will be as distinct as our personalities. But there is one commonality, the strong unwavering vision of exactly what you want. Realise that there is no harm in rushing into your inner depth for comfort. We all need to blank the world out sometimes before we can allow the light to flood into it again. The only person who can decide about a situation is you. Let the sorrow that you fear so much wash over you.....because once you allow it to, you will realise that you have come out the winner ,that the consequences are not that bad and however harsh the light is it will still guide you in a definite direction once your eyes adjust.